Today is sort of my first day, I have been on holiday in Cornwall and got home yesterday, and while I have been there (and during the week before we went) I have read the following books:
The Miracle Morning
Think and grow Rich (I haven't finished this one yet)
The Secret: Law of Attraction
The Attraction Blueprint (I haven't finished this yet)
The 30 Day Attraction Experiment
Just Ask the Universe
And an sample of a Tony Robbins book
My brain is a little bit like spaghetti now. I have loads of ideas and enthusiasm swimming around inside of me, but I am completely overwhelmed. Oh dear...
I plan to embark on the Miracle Morning tomorrow morning (Sunday) because I haven't done the background work yet on what I will do during my hour. I am looking forward to it.
I am putting this blog out there for 4 reasons, but I am accepting of the fact that it is unlikely anyone will read it! It is mostly for me, but just in case anyone is interested I have decided to publish it. I am not going to tell anyone I am writing it because I don't want to be thinking about their reactions, only my own thoughts and feelings. The 4 reasons are:
- It will be somewhere I cannot lose it - out in the ether
- It will hold me accountable - I am more like to stick to it if I think even one other person is interested
- I want to untangle the spaghetti that is my brain and make sense of what I have taken from these brilliant books
- I want to look back on this in 6 months and feel proud of and inspired by how far I have come
So! I have read The Secret and I want to put it into practice. I want to commit it to paper and I really want to believe it. I know several people personally who say it has worked/is working for them and that they live their life by it. It says that you must decide what you want, write it down and then if you truly believe, it will come to you. You don't have to think about how it will come; just know that the Universe will provide it.
It's all based on the premise that we and the while world are made of energy, and that like attracts like. So if you are giving off positive energy vibrations, you will attract positive energy; if you are giving off negative energy, you will receive the same in return. This makes sense to me.
The part about not planning the future and it taking care of you because of what you have decided you want sounds woolly, but because of where I find myself today, again, it makes sense to me.
It seems as though now is a good time just to quickly record the events that have led to me doing this and why the ideas in The Secret make sense to me. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and I have always believed that things come right in the end, but I have always had a fearful relationship with money. No matter how much I earn; I always think I am going to run out. You will often hear me saying "I can't afford it" even if I probably can. I want that to stop that. I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit and am always looking for ways to make money - but now I realise that I haven't been dreaming 'big enough'.
As breifly as possible then, I was a teacher for 13 years and pretty much hated it for the last 5. I don't think I was ever cut out for being a teacher really, because I am more of a one-to-one person, and I don't like doing things I don't believe in (I am sure I'm not alone in that!). I did not believe in the prescriptive way we were being forced to teach children, or the constant blows to their self esteem if they didn't score well in test after test. I enjoyed the relationships I had with the children and teenagers, but the red tape, paperwork and politics were too much for me.
Although I hated it and it was making me utterly miserable, I couldn't see a way out, so I stuck at it. What other job out there will pay £38,000 a year and allow me to pick up my children from school and have the school holidays with them? I couldn't think of one.
So I tried to look on the bright side. I liked the kids. The Head was really nice. I liked my colleagues. The pay was pretty good. I had time off with my children. So I just kept going.
In January 2013 I enrolled on a counselling course. This was 6 months of foundation skills, leading to the 2 year diploma, which I was given one day a week off work to complete. The Head was supportive and accommodating and I felt that I was finally doing something I enjoyed.
However, in Sept 2014 the kind, supportive Head retired, and an a complete A*** Hole took his place. To me, this seemed like the worst thing ever. I now realise it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
There were several of us feeling the strain of this new arrival. He was an incompetent bully and treated us like we were crap. So my friend suggested we embark on a childminding qualification and plan our escape. We could do it at the weekend and in the evenings and would be ready to go in February. I must admit, I didn't really want to be a childminder, but it was better than what I was doing right then. I wouldn't be a qualified counsellor until October 2015 so I needed to find something that would allow me to leave teaching without being too afraid of the financial fallout.
By December though I had been signed off with stress and anxiety and decided I couldn't take it any more. I decided to resign. However, my contract stated that I needed to work until the end of the next term, which was the end of February. At this time, I was only working 3.5 days a week, so I would just have to suck it up for 2 more months. Add to this the fact that I couldn't begin working as a childminder until February/March, there didn't seem to be another option.
So, I resigned and the Head told me to go home and arranged for me to see the CEO the following day.
Now this is where I believe the Universe stepped in and said 'Well done for deciding. Now I can finally help you get to where you want to be!'
The next day, the CEO sat down with me and said something unexpected. 'Ok, I understand why you have resigned, and we have decided that you don't need to work your notice. We will pay you until the end of February and you can leave today.' I was astounded!
But it gets better. He then said 'Because this is an exit agreement, you won't be taxed on this money. We are looking at a figure of around £4800 tax free. If you agree, I will send you an agreement and you just need to sign it and send it back.'
I was over the moon!!!! That was the equivalent of just over 3 months of my take home pay, more than enough to see me through until March. So the deal was done and I was free. I thank the Universe for that. I am grateful that I had the financial support I needed even though I would never have imagined it would have come as easily as that. I asked for it and it arrived, and it was the exact amount I needed.
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And so now onto the next part.
I never did become a childminder. I qualified but decided it wasn't for me.
In January, another friend of mine decided to resign too. She suggested we go into business together as a vintage hire company. I was excited! I love vintage stuff and antiques. She said there was a gap in the market around here and that people wanted to hire old suitcases, bird cages, wooden crates etc to decorate their wedding venues. I knew that it was a popular theme to have a vintage or rustic wedding so I was really excited. I wanted to do this!!
So we started collecting vintage pieces we thought brides would like. I spent around £600 on props such as wooden crates, old glass bottles, parasols, a typewriter and the other items mentioned above, as well as a whole host of other vintage goodies. We were buzzing with ideas and were on the phone all the time, as well as treasure hunting as often as possible.
She then told me she was pregnant. I was thrilled for her! However, she had really bad morning sickness which meant that sometimes she didn't even reply to my texts. I was supportive and understanding, as you would expect.
Then she told me they were planning to move to Weston (which is approx. an hours drive from here) within 6 months but didn't see it as a problem as she thought we could still continue with the business together. The following week she said she had applied to go and live and work in Australia, but that I needn't worry because that wouldn't be until next year. Finally, she rang me and said she had a full time job until the summer as a teacher. I asked what the point was in doing this business together and she said she still really wanted to do it but I just couldn't see how it would work. I also didn't see the point in building something that was only for a year.
I decided to tell her I thought it was best that I go it alone, and quite rightly she was angry and upset. It had been her idea and I had taken it for myself. However, I just couldn't see how it would work! She hasn't spoken to me since, which is sad, but I accept it.
So I tried to go it alone for a while but I realised it still wasn't really for me. I didn't get much business, but what I did get I found to be a hassle. Packing and counting all the china teasets, delivering and collecting, washing up, breakages, deposits, all seemed to be a lot of effort for what was sometimes very little money. However, I gave it a good go, and went to some trsining coures on running your own business etc.
It was on one of these courses that I met, and became friends with, a fellow counsellor called Kaukab.
We hit it off straight away and I found myself feeling envious that she was a working counsellor - it became clear that I needed to put my efforts in to that, and I only had another couple of months until I qualified.
One day she said she wanted to write and deliver a stress management course and felt I would be her ideal partner. I was really excited again. This was something that tied in with counselling and would be helping people live happier lives. I knew only too well what living with stress was like...
So we decided to call ourselves Leading Stress Management Solutions (LeadingSMS) and set about writing a brilliant course. We had business cards made, a website, and the relevant social media pages. We contacted a few businesses and when they didn't buy our course we just, well, stopped.
What a shame!! We could be bringing so much to people. We could help people. We knew how to help them and what works. Unfortunately we didn't know how to market ourselves, so at the first hurdle we gave up.
In the meantime I had decided to open a shop on Etsy and sell my vintage things on there. I enjoyed that a lot more than hiring them out. It is going quite well. I have become a buyer and seller of vintage goods and for the most part I enjoy it; but let's face it, it's never going to be a huge money spinner really. Not the type of money I need anyway.
I also got a job with Teens in Crisis (TIC+) working as a counsellor with young people. I very much enjoy it, but again, it will never pay the vast sums I need to escape living in rented accommodation and buy my own home.
I have also taken on 2 private counselling clients, which thrills me! I would like to have 5 or 6 clients, and I am aware that this will take time to achieve. But again, I am not going to be able to buy a house with the money I earn from that.
So I need to do something differently than I am doing now. I need to get the stress management course up and running and making money!
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Gosh. This is longer than I envisaged. It is taking me ages...
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Which brings me up to the last couple of weeks. Never, in all my time of worrying about running out of money has it actually happened, but 3 weeks ago I found myself with only £46 in my account with more than that due to go out in bills and shopping to buy for my family of 4. I was utterly panicked. I had also had my child tax credits stopped because I had submitted the wrong figures to HMRC. I felt helpless and hopeless and frightened and like a big failure. I didn't know how to do my accounts or tax return and I didn't know where I would get the money from to pay the upcoming bills.
The Universe stepped in again...
I posted on a local business networking facebook group that I am a member of and asked if anyone would be willing to look at my accounts and help me with the figures I needed to give to HMRC. I said I had submitted the wrong ones and that my benefits had stopped, and I said I was panicking as I had almost run out of money.
I was so touched by the responses! By the following week a very kind accountant Hetty Verney Accounting had looked at my accounts, given me some advice, and done my tax return for me! I then submitted the figures to HMRC and my benefits started back up again.
On that day I was also contacted by a very kind lady called Judy Mansfield of Cherish Ceremonies and she asked if I had ever read The Secret: Law of Attraction. She said she lives her life by it and loves it. I was intrigued so I downloaded it and had finished it by the next day. I was hooked. So I read Ask the Universe and The 30 Day Attraction Experiment.
That week I went for brunch with my friend Cindy, who is the Feelgood Coach, and we talked about these books. She suggested I read The Miracle Morning and said that she loved it. She also said she has a business coach called Carie Lyndene The Success Coach and that she has really helped get her business going. Kaukab and I had a Skype call with Carie in the past, but because it cost a fair sum of money to work with her, we didn't go for it. I was starting to wonder if maybe that was the answer to our stuck-ness. That afternoon I saw another lady I know from the same business group and she also sang Carie's praises. Funnily enough, I had booked a call with Carie 3 weeks ago to talk about my counselling and Etsy business, but I suddenly knew that I needed to talk to her about our Stress Management course.
So the following morning Carie rang and I explained the situation. She broke it down for me:
Etsy is my hobby
Counselling is my bread and butter
The Stress Management course is where my real earning potential lies
This made it clear to me. I need to focus on the path to financial security and my own home.
She said she can help to make our success 'inevitable' so that was it. I booked on to her course, put it on my credit card, and felt hopeful (if not a little worried about the cost) for the first time in ages. I felt that the Universe had spoken, especially as I found that the credit available to me was almost the exact amout it cost to book onto Carie's course. Also - within the space of 2 weeks I had had the same books recommended to me twice, and the same business coach 3 times (Hetty also uses Carie).
I haven't told my husband how much it cost by the way, so shhhhh.
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So here we are. I am due to start Carie's course with Kaukab on Monday (she was ok about me spending the money on that - she was relieved that one of us had taken a leap of faith to get us out of the limbo we found ourselves in) and I am starting The Miracle Morning tomorrow.
I will do another blog later about my affirmations etc because I am pretty worn out now! I'm going for a carvery...
If you have read to the end - wow! Thanks :-)
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