Sun 31st July

Well, today I have had even more helpful responses from TMM community on FB, what a great bunch. I have never felt so popular! Or so supported :-)

I have had a productive day! I am currently at work, where I do online counselling, but because I only have one client and we are on top of the filing, I have been able to book tickets to the pantomime for December (yes!!! Christmas!! Check me out ;-)) and I have done my Social Media updates both for my Etsy store and my counselling practice for the coming week.

I haven't had any Etsy sales today YET but I am always hopeful. This morning I packaged and labelled all the orders I need to post tomorrow so that's a weight off my mind. These sales are what has enabled me to book the panto tickets - I couldn't afford it last year and Christmas just didn't feel the same. I also felt really guilty becasue my children were 'missing out' and they won't be young enough to want to go to the panto for many more years :-( So! This year I will feel good and we'll all be excited to go :-)

I was frustrated with the stress management business this morning for various reasons, but I messaged my friend Cindy 'The Feelgood Coach' and she gave me some affirmations that made me feel better immediately. I am blessed to have people around me who I can turn to when I have minor (or major) frustrations or upsets.

I haven't done any exercise and I have eaten a Mr Kipling cake, but otherwise what I have eaten today hasn't been too bad. Not as bad as I used to be anyway!

Right. Time to go home!

Saturday 30th - so tired!

I really don't know what's wrong with me today. I didn't get up until 7am but I still had a 2 hour 'nap' this afternoon. No so much as a nap, more of a full bit of shut eye. 2 hours!!! And I could have continued to sleep, but we were going to the cinema. We went to see the BFG, it was pretty good :-)

I am eating so much more fruit and veg, my diet is way better than it used to be. I went for another walk with my children this morning, but we didn't go far, perhaps around 30 - 40 minutes. So why would I be tired? I should have loads of energy.

Here's a photo from our walk

I posted on the facebook group 'The Miracle Morning Community' today about my inability to actually do it properly and had loads of encouraging responses - isn't it wonderful to be a part of a supportive group? I have started to think that even though I would like to do the hour like I did last week, that actually as long as I am doing all the pieces of it every day it's ok for now.

When the children are back at school and we are in a routine I think I will find it easier then, so until that time I'll just do what I can when I can.

Had 2 small sales on Etsy today, the weather was nice, the walk was very pretty and I am grateful for life and my family and my freedom!

PS I am determined to fit into my size 12 clothes again too! I am hoping the change in diet and the extra walking will help...

oh dear oh dear

ah haha

hmmm. Well I haven't done the Miracle Morning since that first and only magical time. Why?? There are a couple of reasons.

1) My daughter often gets into bed with me in the night, and when I get up in the morning, she wakes up and wants to get up too. I really don't want her getting up at 5:30am! So I stay in bed for her benefit (ahem)

2) I have been having late nights, and now we are on summer holidays the routine is shot and I don't *have* to get up for anything. I prefer to get up when I wake up, which is usually around 6:30am, rather than with an alarm. The thing is, the family are also up by then.

So, even though I loved doing the miracle morning, I haven't been able to bring myself to get up at half 5. Boo to me.

In order to rectify this, I have been making sure I read at some point during the day, and that I have been doing exercise of some sort. So yesterday morning we went up Crickley Hill for an hour, and today we walked to the park. I haven't done my visualizations or my affirmations though, so I need to be doing that.
I took this photo while we were up there:

The Universe has been good to me!! I had a fabulous night out last night for my sister's birthday - all my family were there and there was excellent live music. All I had eaten all day was fruit and veg, and at the restaurant I had a salad. My tummy felt so much nicer and less bloated last night is was great.

While we were there, my 4th client sent me a message confirming that she wanted to work with me, then I had an email with an enquiry from a potential 5th client! I only started advertising about 5 weeks ago, and was told by everyone in the profession to be patient because it takes around a year to start getting clients. I told my husband that I wanted 5, and that the money from that, added to the money I make in my paid counselling job and my Etsy shop, would mean I was earning around the same amount as when I was teaching. And low and behold!! The Universe is providing for me yet again!!

I have also had sales on Etsy every day, and I had a surprise pay packet that I didn't think I was getting until next month, so I paid off some of my credit card, feeling confident that I could afford to, and that I would not be short of money as a result - the Universe will provide for me.

That's not to say I don't work for it. I do. I don't just sit there and expect money to float down into my lap. I work on my Etsy shop, I work on my Social Media. I work on getting my name out there, and I work hard providing a good service to the people who pay me; be it customers or clients. I am working on my Stress Management business by watching the recorded webinars which make up the first part of the course and making notes of the ideas I have and the things we need to do. I also work hard at being a good mum and wife, I try to make home cooked meals from scratch using organic ingredients to keep my family healthy. So; the Universe doesn't reward me for slacking, I know that much :-)

I have also changed my mind (I know, I know, we shouldn't do that) about the car I want - I have decided to go for the BMW X3 for now. The reason being, my husband wants to set up his own business as an upholsterer and furniture restorer, so we originally felt that we needed a big car to enable him to to do this when the time is right. However, the time isn't now, and I don't need a big car like that at the moment. I have decided that the trigger point for this will be when I get a job in a school.

As part of the work I do for my paid counselling job, occasionally there is the opportunity to get a contract for one day a week working in a school (whereas at the moment I travel from school to school or meeting place to see clients) which means a salary rather than being paid for each individual client. Also, I would be able to see 5 clients a day, rather than 4 (so more money). Also, there is no travelling around, which is very appealing!! I like my job, I like working with teenagers, but to have that fixed income wold mean the security I need to feel confident in getting a loan to get a car.
Of course - maybe the Stress Management course will take off before then and I will be able to buy one outright within a couple of months :-) :-)

Anyway - that's enough for tonight. I will keep things going and you never know, I might do the Miracle Morning again before September...

I'll let you know if I do :-)

What has the universe done for me today? Monday 25th July 2016

So, today I have made 2 sales on Etsy and I have had an email from a car dealership who ripped me off in August last year saying that they are going to pay me £300 a month to clear what they owe me.

I have heard them say they will refund me so many times before it is laughable - but I am hoping the universe is working towards it being true, and that I will eventually get my £840 back.

(In case you are wondering, I bought a pile of junk from them and returned it the next day and they said they would refund me via bank transfer. I saw them set up the payment and they obviously cancelled it as soon as I had gone. I have been trying to get my money back for almost a year now and have reported them to all the people/agencies I can think of and, unbelievably, no one can/will help) 

Don't EVER buy a car from Cars 4 Everyone/Cash 4 Auto Ingleside Rd, Bristol, UK. They have done it to so many people and even threatened to break one ladies legs - so I got off lightly really.

Anyway!! I am trusting in the Universe to get that money back for me and it seems like there is at least something happening so I need to think positive and I will have it before too long.

I also had a telephone call from someone who potentially wants to have counselling with me, and she said she will get back to me next week, so fingers crossed!

Kaukab and I did a bit of work today and I feel more organised and still VERY optimistic about selling our course, so things are looking good :-)

I also found an ingenious way of getting my 10 minutes of exercise today - while I was playing 'Piggy in the Middle' with my children, I was doing jumping jacks when I was piggy, and squats and lunges when I caught and threw the ball. I then ran on the spot when I was bringing the washing in. Haha!! (Hope my neightbours couldn't see - it was not flattering)

So a positive day in all, and I am feeling hopeful and looking forward to my Miracle Morning tomorrow. :-)

I did it!!

I did it!! 

Here I am, on part S of my SAVERS morning routine and it has been great!!

I haven't done the exercise part yet because I didn't want to be sweaty for the other bits.

I decided that during the reading part I would read around on the internet about Stress Management and I came up with loads of ideas of things we can include and things we can do, tweaks we can make etc. I felt even more excited and enthusiastic.

I also realised that the course we have written is excellent - I hadn't appreciated how good it was until now, and I feel really proud of us and what we have created. We need to get it out there! We can help so many people!

Anyway - this and the notes I have made of my ideas is all the time I currently have for the S part of the routine - my family have now all got up so I am not sure how I'm going to manage the exercise part (which I really need to do if I am going to fit into my size 12s (poss even my size 10s???) so maybe I'll manage to do some later...

Sunday morning - oh dear

Well, I am disappointed with myself because I didn't do TMM this morning :-(

I did the affirmations and gratitudes as I was falling asleep last night, but I didn't go to bed until gone midnight because me and my husband watched 'Spy' so then I was tired.

I will stick to my healthy eating though, and I will get some exercise in the form of cleaning and tidying my house today. that doesn't seem quite good enough does it?

How can I sow some seeds that will allow me to reap the rewards at a later date today? I will see what I come up with....

My Miracle Morning routine

And now on to the part I have been trying to get to all day! My routine for tomorrow morning.

But first, I have just completed the 'Wheel of Life Assessment' and can see that I am very satisfied with my personal life, but so very dissatisfied with my business and financial life.

I will write my scores here, and in 30 days I will compare how I am feeling then. I will do the same in 3 months.

Physical Environment (home) 6/10 - I like it but I want to own a house and I want it to be less cluttered!

Family and Friends 9/10

Personal Growth and Development 4/10 - always more to do here!

Spirituality 4/10

Finances 2/10

Career/Business 2/10

Significant Other 9/10

Fun and Recreation 6/10

Contribution/Giving 3/10

Health/Fitness 2/10

********************************************************************************

My Routine - 'SAVERS' (not in that order!)

Get up, brush my teeth, put on my workout clothes, get my stuff, go downstairs and  have a drink of water. Have a small snack if I'm really hungry.

S - Silence. Sit in silence for 10 minutes.
A - Affirmations. Read my Intention Statements and other inspirational affirmations for 10 minutes.         Say what I want and  why I want these things. 'I am 100% committed to...' Also go through my           gratitudes and give thanks for what I already have. Meditate, 'I breathe in Peace; I breathe out             Love'
V - Visualizations - Look at the photographs on Pinterest and on my blog. Visualize my home and              my car and the other things I wish to manifest. Imagine that I have them now and how I am                 feeling about it. Visualise getting new customers and clients with ease. Visualise being size 12             and wearing my small clothes again.
R - Reading - read books on stress management and counselling to begin with. read a chapter in as           close to 10 minutes as possible.
S - Scribing - spend 10 minutes writing on here. Use it to capture my ideas and feelings, maybe I will      have some insights into something during meditation; maybe I have had a success, or have learned      a lesson. Maybe I have had an insight or a breakthough. Whatever it is I will write it here.
E - Exercise - to begin with do 10 minutes a day. Watch a 10 minute work out on YouTube or just do        a minute each of 10 different exercises

Then I will have a shower, get dressed and have a nutritious smoothie and start my day!

My second installment - The Secret and The Miracle Morning

And on to my second installment.

I need to get this done today!!

I need to do 2 things.

1) What I have been told to do in The Secret
2) My preparation for TMM (The Miracle Morning)

I will start with 1). I refuse to feel foolish or over ambitious; this blog is meant only for me after all. I will have strong faith and a positive attitude. I will focus on what I want. I will be aware that I have the ability within me to attract what I want. I will do things that inspire me. I will appreciate what I already have in life. I will be clear about what I want. I will adopt and 'attitude of gratitude'

I will try to let go of my dream and accept that it will come to me when I am ready. I will use affirmations properly. I will try very hard not to be impatient or discouraged because things will not happen overnight (or maybe they will! but I can't hope for that).

I will embrace the idea of wealth, and live the dream in my mind like it is a possibility. I will not say I am poor or complain ever again. I know I will be well off and I will not doubt it ever again.

I will appreciate what I have right now and wipe out all negative thoughts. I can have anything I think of; I will believe in myself and the universe will believe in me too.

Some affirmations I could use are:

• I am a money magnet
• I am now earning a lot of money
• Plenty of money is flowing into my life

My Intention - Step One - Deciding What I Want and Why

1. I want £800,000 in my bank account so that I can have the following things in my life, as well as plenty of holidays where me and my family get to see the world and enough to never worry about paying the bills again! I am fed up of just about managing with the money I have. I want an abundance that is enough to stop me worrying, but not so much that I am complacent or have more than I need. I think £800,000 is a good number, it is enough for a nice house in a nice place with 2 cars and an enjoyable lifestyle. I don't want to rely on anyone else.
2. I want a BMW X5, black, new if possible but it can be up to 5 years old. Leather interior, automatic, sat nav, air con, clean, smart, tidy interior and dash. Parking screen. I have never had a new car in my life and I would love the peace of mind it will bring. I loved the car I have now when I bought it, but I am now aware that it is getting old and will keep costing me money. It is too small for my needs; the children are getting bigger and if my husband starts his own business he needs something that will fit furniture in the back, ie and armchair.

3. I want an old house in the countryside with views of hills and fields, with a field at the back that can be accessed by a gate. It is 4 bedrooms, with 2 reception rooms and a study. It is built of Cotswold Stone that has darkened with age. It has an open fire place in a cosy but light sitting room with large windows, but the room itself isn't too big, It looks out into the garden, which is well established and has 2 seating areas - one next to the house, which is a small area for coffee for 2 next to the climbing plants and small garden wall. Then a bigger one underneath a pagoda with fairy lights and climbing roses. The garden isn't huge but it is beautiful. It then goes around to the side and there is a vegetable patch, and then round to the front where there is a gravel drive, and across from that another lawn area with established fruit trees - cheery and apple and others. Inside there is a big farmhouse kitchen with an old pine table in the centre, and Aga and a Belfast sink. The kitchen is bright in the day and cosy in the evening, with a nice mix of warm and light colours. The bedrooms are light with original features. There is pleanty of storage space and it is always tidy, and I have a cleaner who comes twice a week. I love cooking in there and having people over!! I am so happy in that house. Ideally it would also look over the hills I grew up with and I will finally feel like I have come 'home'. I have always wanted to live in a nice house, a Cotswold stome house, that is bright and airy in the summer and cosy in the winter. I don't want a mansion or something of ridiculous proportions, I just want it to be homely and comfortable. I don't like renting, I want the freedom to do what I like to my home. I want to invite people over and feel proud, I want to get home form work and be so happy with my surroundings because they are exactly what I have created.

A bit like a combination of these, but with bigger windows, and detached, just one house on its own, with a neighbour a bit down the road! This is the stone I mean though, and the plants. There are more plants, climbing roses etc. It is really pretty. Maybe it's a converted barn:

4. I want my husband to leave work and start his own successful business. I will support him in that but leave the details to him. My husband deserves to be happy and to have the freedom to work for himself. He has lots of ideas and isn't as happy as he could be in his current place in life.

5. I want my children to be happy, healthy, kind, well adjusted, successful, wealthy, respectful, confident, satisfied and hard working (but not too hard!). I am so proud of them, always. I want them to live healthily, well into their 90s or beyond. Of course I want this. My children are the most precious things I have. I want only the best for them.

6. I want to have a long, happy and healthy marriage to my husband where we continue to grow together and to live the life we deserve and have dreamed of. I want us to grow closer with each passing year and to be grateful for all we have. There have been times where I have not appreciated my husband and I have not been grateful for our marriage. That was a long time ago, but I never want to be like that again. I feel we go from strength to strength and I want that to continue for a very long time. Until we are in our 90s at least!

7. I want to have a healthy and fit physique, size 12, where I feel confident about how I look and where I have plenty of energy to get through my exciting and busy days. I want to wear my size 12 clothes again - I have been saving them! And I want to be able to wear a dress without my legs rubbing together at the top...I was slim once and although I was very happy on my wedding day, the year I got married and the year preceding and the year following that I was very unhappy at work and with the house we lived in. I think maybe I associate being slim with that time, and I didn't like myself or my life then. I think I have had a mental block and have eaten too much of what I shouldn't almost to punish myself. I won't do that any more.

8. I want to see as much of the world as possible. I love new adventures, as long as they are safe and comfortable. There are lots of places I want to see, and I want to give my children an education about other cultures and ways of life, as well as seeing beautiful and exciting things.

9. I want to take the children to Disneyland Florida in 2018 and have a wonderful and safe time. I want to do this while the children are still young enough to enjoy the magic of it, but always remember it. I think it will be magical!

10. I want to have a successful business that I am proud of, that makes me a minimum of £2000 a week, and that helps other people. I imagine this is LeadingSMS but it could be something similar.

I want this because it is something I have high hopes for and have worked really hard towards. I think it will tick all my boxes and that it will take off and be successful and thrive.

My Intention Statements:

Right now, I choose to manifest £800,000. I accept this or something better. I am so happy and grateful now that I have it.

Right now, I choose to have a new/nearly new black BMW X5. I accept this or something better. I am so excited and grateful now that I have it.

Right now, I choose to have a beautiful house, like the one described above. I accept this or something better. I am so happy and proud and thankful to have it.

I choose, right now,  to support my husband in leaving work and setting up his own business now. I accept this or something better. I am so proud of him and so happy that he is happy.

I choose, right now, to have children who have all the above mentioned qualities. I choose this or something better. I am so very grateful and happy to have them and so proud of them and their achievements.

I choose, right now, to have a happy and fulfilling marriage to my husband. I accept this or something better. I am so happy and grateful to be in this marriage.

Right now, I choose to eat healthy and nutritious foods, and to exercise daily in my MM routine. I want to be fit and to be a size 10-12. I accept this or something better. I am so happy and grateful now that I have it.

I choose, right now, to travel the world and see at least 10 other countries. I accept this or something better. I am so happy and grateful to have this opportunity.

I choose, right now, to take the children to Disneyland Florida for 2 weeks  in 2018, I accept this or something better. I am so happy and thankful to have this experience with them.

I choose, right now, to earn a minimum of £2000 a week in my business with Kaukab, LeadingSMS. I accept this or something better. I am so grateful and proud and satisfied with what I/we have achieved.

Well, again I am tired now, so I will come back to this later and start a new post, where I transfer these intentions, desires and affirmations to my Miracle Morning routine.

I will be happy and grateful when all this background work is done and I just have the upkeep left...

A background to my journey so far...

Okay! So, I am starting this blog as a sort of journal, charting my journey of self development because I want to improve the life I have, while loving the life I live on the way. This will be the longest post because it is the first and I am hoping to organise my thoughts as I type...

Today is sort of my first day, I have been on holiday in Cornwall and got home yesterday, and while I have been there (and during the week before we went) I have read the following books:

The Miracle Morning
Think and grow Rich (I haven't finished this one yet)
The Secret: Law of Attraction
The Attraction Blueprint (I haven't finished this yet)
The 30 Day Attraction Experiment
Just Ask the Universe
And an sample of a Tony Robbins book

My brain is a little bit like spaghetti now. I have loads of ideas and enthusiasm swimming around inside of me, but I am completely overwhelmed. Oh dear...

I plan to embark on the Miracle Morning tomorrow morning (Sunday) because I haven't done the background work yet on what I will do during my hour. I am looking forward to it.

I am putting this blog out there for 4 reasons, but I am accepting of the fact that it is unlikely anyone will read it! It is mostly for me, but just in case anyone is interested I have decided to publish it. I am not going to tell anyone I am writing it because I don't want to be thinking about their reactions, only my own thoughts and feelings. The 4 reasons are:

• It will be somewhere I cannot lose it - out in the ether
• It will hold me accountable - I am more like to stick to it if I think even one other person is interested
• I want to untangle the spaghetti that is my brain and make sense of what I have taken from these brilliant books
• I want to look back on this in 6 months and feel proud of and inspired by how far I have come

So! I have read The Secret and I want to put it into practice. I want to commit it to paper and I really want to believe it. I know several people personally who say it has worked/is working for them and that they live their life by it. It says that you must decide what you want, write it down and then if you truly believe, it will come to you. You don't have to think about how it will come; just know that the Universe will provide it. 

It's all based on the premise that we and the while world are made of energy, and that like attracts like. So if you are giving off positive energy vibrations, you will attract positive energy; if you are giving off negative energy, you will receive the same in return. This makes sense to me. 

The part about not planning the future and it taking care of you because of what you have decided you want sounds woolly, but because of where I find myself today, again, it makes sense to me.

It seems as though now is a good time just to quickly record the events that have led to me doing this and why the ideas in The Secret make sense to me. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and I have always believed that things come right in the end, but I have always had a fearful relationship with money. No matter how much I earn; I always think I am going to run out. You will often hear me saying "I can't afford it" even if I probably can. I want that to stop that. I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit and am always looking for ways to make money - but now I realise that I haven't been dreaming 'big enough'.

As breifly as possible then, I was a teacher for 13 years and pretty much hated it for the last 5. I don't think I was ever cut out for being a teacher really, because I am more of a one-to-one person, and I don't like doing things I don't believe in (I am sure I'm not alone in that!). I did not believe in the prescriptive way we were being forced to teach children, or the constant blows to their self esteem if they didn't score well in test after test. I enjoyed the relationships I had with the children and teenagers, but the red tape, paperwork and politics were too much for me. 

Although I hated it and it was making me utterly miserable, I couldn't see a way out, so I stuck at it. What other job out there will pay £38,000 a year and allow me to pick up my children from school and have the school holidays with them? I couldn't think of one.

So I tried to look on the bright side. I liked the kids. The Head was really nice. I liked my colleagues. The pay was pretty good. I had time off with my children. So I just kept going.

In January 2013 I enrolled on a counselling course. This was 6 months of foundation skills, leading to the 2 year diploma, which I was given one day a week off work to complete. The Head was supportive and accommodating and I felt that I was finally doing something I enjoyed.

However, in Sept 2014 the kind, supportive Head retired, and an a complete A*** Hole took his place. To me, this seemed like the worst thing ever. I now realise it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

There were several of us feeling the strain of this new arrival. He was an incompetent bully and treated us like we were crap. So my friend suggested we embark on a childminding qualification and plan our escape. We could do it at the weekend and in the evenings and would be ready to go in February. I must admit, I didn't really want to be a childminder, but it was better than what I was doing right then. I wouldn't be a qualified counsellor until October 2015 so I needed to find something that would allow me to leave teaching without being too afraid of the financial fallout.

By December though I had been signed off with stress and anxiety and decided I couldn't take it any more. I decided to resign. However, my contract stated that I needed to work until the end of the next term, which was the end of February. At this time, I was only working 3.5 days a week, so I would just have to suck it up for 2 more months. Add to this the fact that I couldn't begin working as a childminder until February/March, there didn't seem to be another option.

So, I resigned and the Head told me to go home and arranged for me to see the CEO the following day. 

Now this is where I believe the Universe stepped in and said 'Well done for deciding. Now I can finally help you get to where you want to be!'

The next day, the CEO sat down with me and said something unexpected. 'Ok, I understand why you have resigned, and we have decided that you don't need to work your notice. We will pay you until the end of February and you can leave today.' I was astounded!

But it gets better. He then said 'Because this is an exit agreement, you won't be taxed on this money. We are looking at a figure of around £4800 tax free. If you agree, I will send you an agreement and you just need to sign it and send it back.'

I was over the moon!!!! That was the equivalent of just over 3 months of my take home pay, more than enough to see me through until March. So the deal was done and I was free. I thank the Universe for that. I am grateful that I had the financial support I needed even though I would never have imagined it would have come as easily as that. I asked for it and it arrived, and it was the exact amount I needed.

*******************************************************************************

And so now onto the next part.

I never did become a childminder. I qualified but decided it wasn't for me. 

In January, another friend of mine decided to resign too. She suggested we go into business together as a vintage hire company. I was excited! I love vintage stuff and antiques. She said there was a gap in the market around here and that people wanted to hire old suitcases, bird cages, wooden crates etc to decorate their wedding venues. I knew that it was a popular theme to have a vintage or rustic wedding so I was really excited. I wanted to do this!!

So we started collecting vintage pieces we thought brides would like. I spent around £600 on props such as wooden crates, old glass bottles, parasols, a typewriter and the other items mentioned above, as well as a whole host of other vintage goodies. We were buzzing with ideas and were on the phone all the time, as well as treasure hunting as often as possible.

She then told me she was pregnant. I was thrilled for her! However, she had really bad morning sickness which meant that sometimes she didn't even reply to my texts. I was supportive and understanding, as you would expect. 

Then she told me they were planning to move to Weston (which is approx. an hours drive from here) within 6 months but didn't see it as a problem as she thought we could still continue with the business together. The following week she said she had applied to go and live and work in Australia, but that I needn't worry because that wouldn't be until next year. Finally, she rang me and said she had a full time job until the summer as a teacher. I asked what the point was in doing this business together and she said she still really wanted to do it but I just couldn't see how it would work. I also didn't see the point in building something that was only for a year.

I decided to tell her I thought it was best that I go it alone, and quite rightly she was angry and upset. It had been her idea and I had taken it for myself. However, I just couldn't see how it would work! She hasn't spoken to me since, which is sad, but I accept it.

So I tried to go it alone for a while but I realised it still wasn't really for me. I didn't get much business, but what I did get I found to be a hassle. Packing and counting all the china teasets, delivering and collecting, washing up, breakages, deposits, all seemed to be a lot of effort for what was sometimes very little money. However, I gave it a good go, and went to some trsining coures on running your own business etc.

It was on one of these courses that I met, and became friends with, a fellow counsellor called Kaukab.

We hit it off straight away and I found myself feeling envious that she was a working counsellor - it became clear that I needed to put my efforts in to that, and I only had another couple of months until I qualified. 

One day she said she wanted to write and deliver a stress management course and felt I would be her ideal partner. I was really excited again. This was something that tied in with counselling and would be helping people live happier lives. I knew only too well what living with stress was like...

So we decided to call ourselves Leading Stress Management Solutions (LeadingSMS) and set about writing a brilliant course. We had business cards made, a website, and the relevant social media pages. We contacted a few businesses and when they didn't buy our course we just, well, stopped.

What a shame!! We could be bringing so much to people. We could help people. We knew how to help them and what works. Unfortunately we didn't know how to market ourselves, so at the first hurdle we gave up.

In the meantime I had decided to open a shop on Etsy and sell my vintage things on there. I enjoyed that a lot more than hiring them out. It is going quite well. I have become a buyer and seller of vintage goods and for the most part I enjoy it; but let's face it, it's never going to be a huge money spinner really. Not the type of money I need anyway.

I also got a job with Teens in Crisis (TIC+) working as a counsellor with young people. I very much enjoy it, but again, it will never pay the vast sums I need to escape living in rented accommodation and buy my own home.

I have also taken on 2 private counselling clients, which thrills me! I would like to have 5 or 6 clients, and I am aware that this will take time to achieve. But again, I am not going to be able to buy a house with the money I earn from that. 

So I need to do something differently than I am doing now. I need to get the stress management course up and running and making money!

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Gosh. This is longer than I envisaged. It is taking me ages...

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Which brings me up to the last couple of weeks. Never, in all my time of worrying about running out of money has it actually happened, but 3 weeks ago I found myself with only £46 in my account with more than that due to go out in bills and shopping to buy for my family of 4. I was utterly panicked. I had also had my child tax credits stopped because I had submitted the wrong figures to HMRC. I felt helpless and hopeless and frightened and like a big failure. I didn't know how to do my accounts or tax return and I didn't know where I would get the money from to pay the upcoming bills.

The Universe stepped in again...

I posted on a local business networking facebook group that I am a member of and asked if anyone would be willing to look at my accounts and help me with the figures I needed to give to HMRC. I said I had submitted the wrong ones and that my benefits had stopped, and I said I was panicking as I had almost run out of money. 

I was so touched by the responses! By the following week a very kind accountant Hetty Verney Accounting had looked at my accounts, given me some advice, and done my tax return for me! I then submitted the figures to HMRC and my benefits started back up again.

On that day I was also contacted by a very kind lady called Judy Mansfield of Cherish Ceremonies and she asked if I had ever read The Secret: Law of Attraction. She said she lives her life by it and loves it. I was intrigued so I downloaded it and had finished it by the next day. I was hooked. So I read Ask the Universe and The 30 Day Attraction Experiment.

That week I went for brunch with my friend Cindy, who is the Feelgood Coach, and we talked about these books. She suggested I read The Miracle Morning and said that she loved it. She also said she has a business coach called Carie Lyndene The Success Coach and that she has really helped get her business going. Kaukab and I had a Skype call with Carie in the past, but because it cost a fair sum of money to work with her, we didn't go for it. I was starting to wonder if maybe that was the answer to our stuck-ness. That afternoon I saw another lady I know from the same business group and she also sang Carie's praises. Funnily enough, I had booked a call with Carie 3 weeks ago to talk about my counselling and Etsy business, but I suddenly knew that I needed to talk to her about our Stress Management course.

So the following morning Carie rang and I explained the situation. She broke it down for me:

Etsy is my hobby

Counselling is my bread and butter

The Stress Management course is where my real earning potential lies

This made it clear to me. I need to focus on the path to financial security and my own home.

She said she can help to make our success 'inevitable' so that was it. I booked on to her course, put it on my credit card, and felt hopeful (if not a little worried about the cost) for the first time in ages. I felt that the Universe had spoken, especially as I found that the credit available to me was almost the exact amout it cost to book onto Carie's course. Also - within the space of 2 weeks I had had the same books recommended to me twice, and the same business coach 3 times (Hetty also uses Carie).

I haven't told my husband how much it cost by the way, so shhhhh.

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So here we are. I am due to start Carie's course with Kaukab on Monday (she was ok about me spending the money on that - she was relieved that one of us had taken a leap of faith to get us out of the limbo we found ourselves in) and I am starting The Miracle Morning tomorrow.

I will do another blog later about my affirmations etc because I am pretty worn out now! I'm going for a carvery...

If you have read to the end - wow! Thanks :-)